The Most Important Relationship

Of late I’ve been finding myself engaged in a couple of solo activities. Like walking in the nature, creating art, listening to my favourite music, wandering alone, and watching digital cinema. I felt like connecting with myself through solitude. This took me back to the time when my work commitments made me spend good time in many different metro cities. I was fortunate that my work allowed me to explore new places alongside throwing new challenges for creating a space for myself from scratch every time.

I am a people’s person and I prefer it that way but there were phases when the only company I had was myself and then I gradually started enjoying that. Since then, I’ve always enjoyed my time with myself. All in all, by far I have mastered the art of keeping myself entertained in solitude. I believe solitude at times is calming and energizing and it helps you to breathe through the experiences.

With my life experiences so far I believe that having an emotional connect with yourself sets the foundation of all the healthy relationships in your life. The attributes of self compassion, noticing and naming your feelings, accepting your thoughts and emotions are extremely important.

So the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.

You aren’t perfect. Nobody is devoid of flaws. And seven billion other humans also fit the same description. So loving yourself with mistakes, regrets, and weaknesses becomes essential. Basically I feel that loving yourself is totally an act of service because it immediately translates into positive energy in the world.

Oh, this won’t make you perfect or flawless, but you will acquire “superpowers” that will make your weaknesses trivial

Recently I stumbled upon an amazing read on the website where a Psychologist Arthur Aron talks about 36 questions that will help you spark an emotional connection with anyone. I found it enthralling and worth sharing. Having these 36 questions answered for yourself would be quite interesting.

So I would invite the interested lot to play this question answer session with themselves, with their spouse, their BFF’s or anyone else in the closest circle and see if they end up with some interesting findings about themselves.

So here it goes…

36 questions that spark a deep emotional connection

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “we are both in this room feeling…”

26. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.