I screamed ,Dhavni Avani see what’s there in the balcony.
The girls came out running
What happened Mumma?..asked Dhavni. I exclaimed, have a look such a beautiful butterfly
Where ..asked Avani in excitement
Right there on the flower, I said. She jumped with joy
I called out for Dhvani, who standing at distance looking puzzled. Come near it won’t bite you, I said. She didn’t move an inch just kept staring the butterfly from distance.
Avani on the other hand was elated minutely observing the beauty of her wings. Minutes later, Dhavni asked..Mumma how does the butterfly fly?
Her question startled me. On one hand there was Avani who was engrossed admiring the beauty of the butterfly exactly the way I did
And on the other side there was Dhavni who absolutely had no interest in the look of it rather she was busy figuring out the principles of Aerodynamics
I realized my mistake. I was constantly pestering Dhvani to admire it’s beauty however she was focused on something else
This got me thinking. We are always behaving as a teacher with our kids, directing them, wanting then to learn something all the time.
We all have a different perspective of looking at things. Even kids do. I may perceive it one way and my kids some other way.
So isn’t am I supposed to give her freedom to think in her own way
But we often forget to treat our kids as adults. We try to impose their thoughts with ours, completely forgetting that they may have a different way of looking at things that doesn’t match ours
Just imagine do we ever tell our kids…Come, have a look such a dirty looking Cockroach..
No we don’t. Then why we have to say that Come see such a beautiful butterfly and set a narrative that butterflies are supposed to be beautiful.
Why can’t we just become the medium of curating experiences for kids..leaving it up to them how they want to perceive it and how they want to explore it
Why don’t we just tell them Come there’s a butterfly..leaving it upto them that they find it beautiful or ugly or want to explore some other aspect of it beyond its beauty as Dhvani was doing in this case
Just letting them experience the experience without much interference
In my 4 and a half years of parenting I have grown to believe that as parents our responsibility remains
* To just curate variety experiences for our kids
*To not associate any end result or expectations from the activities we make them do.
*Every activity doesn’t have to end up with some learning
* To not spoil their experience with our intelligence and skills
* To just let them have fun
*To let them have a mind of their own even if it doesn’t match ours
*To be with them not as a teacher or an adult but just as a small kids who is also willing to explore as them
Drop in a comment if this resonates with you
Would love to hear your views on this